My husband is 56 years old, I am 48. For each this is the second marriage. He has two adult daughters – 27 and 32 years old. We live in different cities, and when they come to visit, it seems to me that my husband and I are going to divorce. Girls show me in every possible way who is more important for her husband. And instead of stopping it, on the contrary, he humiliates and criticizes me with them. Then he asks for forgiveness.
In one accidental conversation, I found out that their mother really wants to return her ex -husband, although she changed him herself – this was the reason for their divorce. Yesterday, the eldest daughter of her husband said that I was not a mistress in this house, but my mother would come and she will be her. What he was silent for. And after 7 years of our marriage!
What do i do? I want to part with my husband, tired of sharing him with them.
Victoria, 48 years old
Victoria, you write that troubles begin when her husband’s daughters come to visit. And between visits to these women you live with your husband? You are getting along? You are dear to each other? You are interested in together? Why, because of the words of your daughters, are you thinking about a divorce from a loved one?
Of course, it is difficult for her daughters to come to terms that his father lives with another woman. Of course, they dream of reuniting the family and in every possible way provoke a scandal in the new family of the father. If your husband and your husband have a good relationship, then why are you on their provocations? Only you and your husband decide
how to live on. You never know what people say.
How often and for a long time his children come? He is waiting for them? Rejoice at their arrival? Or feels tension due to these visits? You are talking about your daughters before their appearance? Maybe it is worth reducing the number of their visits? Or invite them to stay at the hotel?
A lot of questions arise about your relationship with your husband. There has been a family for seven years, and you are ready to part because of the “girls”? Of course, it’s a shame that your husband is criticizing you in their presence. But how do you feel at all next to him? From the letter it seems that you are not very confident in your position. Apparently, daughters feel your anxiety and seek to sow the discord between you.
Perhaps your husband is not ready to go to an open conflict. Afraid to lose touch with children or is afraid of them at all. Maybe does not consider their attacks serious. If everything is fine in your family, then I don’t want to answer their nonsense. Or there are problems in your family? Husband knows about your condition? You can offer him so that your daughter does not stop at your house? You really are a mistress in a house or daughter feel your unsteady position, fragile status?
Probably, you should deal with your feelings. You are ready to run, but are not ready to fight for your marriage. Why the husband should protect you, and not you? As a person, as a woman, as a wife, as a mistress you have the right to speak and do in your house what you consider necessary for the good of your family, and not wait for your partner’s actions. Maybe it will be easier for him when you feel your strength. And so you both graze the guests before rudeness.